Next year, on Black Friday, I will go to Best Buy for their 6AM Doorbuster sales, and will do one of the following:

1- Wait for several hours with other customers (making sure multiple employees see me). Once they open their doors and the moron stampede rushes into the store, I will run/rush along with them…directly to the register to buy a soda, then leave.

2- Similar to #1, I will wait for several hours with other customers (making sure multiple employees see me). Once they open their doors and the moron stampede rushes into the store, I will run/rush along with them…directly to the register to ask what their “door buster” sales are on bottles of Coke and Sprite.

3- Wait for several hours with other customers (making sure multiple employees see me). Once they open their doors and the moron stampede rushes into the store, I will run in also, but only buy things that are NOT on sale, that I could buy any other time of the year at the same prices.

4- Wait for several hours with other customers (making sure multiple employees see me). Once they open their doors and the moron stampede rushes into the store, I will run in also, go directly to the Home Theater department, tell every employee I see, how terribly exhausted I am because I was waiting out there with all these other customers, then go to the room where they have the TV demo’s with the simulated living room setup, lay on their couch and go to sleep.

5- Show up dressed as an employee (I worked there for 3 years and still have 2 shirts, and khakis). Casually wait on line as if nothing is odd, once they open the store, I will run in with the rest of the crowd, and then only offer assistance to employees.

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