Some of you will find this hilarious. Some will see the truth in it. I feel both. Call me shallow at times, but right off the bat let me say this is MY blog, so I’ll say what I want.

Here’s what I’ve learned from using dating websites:

-A lot of different people have a lot of different opinions of what “average body type” means.

-A lot of different people have a lot of different opinions of what “a few extra pounds” means.

-A lot of girls claim they’re looking for a “real” man, yet 100% of their photos, IF they even have more than 1, is of themselves covered in makeup, hair extensions, fake nails, fake eyelashes, etc. Oh right, a “real” man. Sure.

-Girls have rules. Some, a LOT of rules. Must be this tall, must be this weight, must have 6-pack abs, must love the outdoors, must love animals, must be able to take care of me financially, must this, must that. And these girls are single? SHOCKING! (sarcasm)

-Several girls have a rule “must have a pic or I won’t respond”. A LOT of these girls do not have pics posted. Idiots.

-Please don’t bother saying you want someone great, kind, caring, fun to hang out with, likes to laugh, or has a great sense of humor. I’m pretty sure EVERY GUY READING understands that already. You mean you’re not looking for a scumbag rapist killer or something?!

-Another sign of a genius: A girl has maybe 5 or 6 pictures on her profile. All of them are of multiple people. So you have to dissect every pic to figure out which girl is in all of them, and hope there’s only one, and just assume that’s the girl who actually belongs to this profile. Is it THAT difficult to put a pic of YOU, by YOURSELF?

-Some people do NOT put in their profile what age range of partner they’re looking for, but then will complain when someone they think is “too old” for them contacts them. THEN SAY WHAT THE FUCK YOU’RE LOOKING FOR, MORONS!! How hard is it to say “I’m looking for someone ages 25-30”, or whatever your range is?!?

-When you email someone, be creative. Show some effort. Show some interest. “Hi” or “Hey” or “Hello” shows no effort at all. If you can’t even have a conversation the first time we talk, what will you do on our “date”?

-Ladies, where it says “First date”, stop putting “I’ll let the man decide”, or “the guy should choose”. If, before even the FIRST date, you are already putting in ZERO effort, showing NO initiative, and letting the man choose the first date, you are already asking the guy to do stuff for you and decide. Why can’t YOU throw out some ideas too? Must you show zero initiative, creativity, and effort? Give me a break. It’s almost 2013, start thinking for yourselves.

More to come, I bet.