I forget why, but I was in jail.

Matt Denton flew in from England for a week to be there for my trial and to support me.

I met a girl there, whose name I forget, but she had a cell phone the size of a Netbook, that opened into a full-sized laptop desk/table. It was called the “Ashcan” and it cost $420.

There was a kitchen and dining room as our mess hall, and all our meals were home-cooked and buffet style. There was some really good food. Desserts were ice cream and M&M’s.

Gary Dell’Abate (Baba Booey) from the Howard Stern Show was one of the prison wardens and he was pissed at me because I wouldn’t cooperate.

Al Snow was also a warden. He was pissed at me because there were 4 other indy wrestlers locked up besides myself, and instead of mug shots, they all gave Al Snow 8×10 promo photos. I didn’t, so he got mad.

There was an autograph session in the mess hall cafeteria with Kevin Nash, DDP, Ron Simmons (he had a mohawk), and Bradshaw. Kevin Nash shook my hand thinking I was Mick Foley.

I got into an argument with two older black women, one of them had a metal golf tee pierced through the bridge of her nose. One asked me a question, then started talking over me while I was answering her so I got mad and yelled at her and got in more trouble from warden Al Snow.

I was very excited when I found the hidden stash of M&M’s.

The girl I met earlier kissed me and we made out for a bit. She sent me an email (we were allowed to use our cell phones in jail). I got her email, but Matt Denton secretly changed the theme on my iPhone to Japanese, as a rib on me. So I couldn’t read the email except the first line that said “Joe, you are hella fun!”. I forget the girl’s name but it started with an M.

For some reason, I took that girls Ashcan cell phone into the interrogation room with me and Danny Inferno came in to get it for her and bring it back to her.

I went outside for a cigarette and saw Vanessa (@Hottie0086) walking on the sidewalk and yelled “Vanessa!!” three times but she never heard me, or just ignored me.

I had two jobs, my current office job, and Best Buy. I remember I had double-booked myself for work the following morning and I wanted to use my “one phone call” to call one of my bosses and say I couldn’t come in. In this dream, it must’ve been Friday because I remember telling Baba Booey “Tomorrow is Saturday, I have Best Buy from 8-2, but my other job from 11-6, they overlap so I have to call out of one”.

Baba Booey made me go through the pockets in a pile of clothes he had, to look for money. He said I could keep any nickels I found. How generous.

A woman from my real-life day job was in jail too. She was eating when I saw her. I went into the fridge to grab something and she was telling me that even though I don’t wear glasses, I should start because it would make my hair look longer.

Matt Denton claimed he got a hotel room for the week, but when he showed me pics of it, he was actually staying in someone’s garage at their house. Odd.

I woke up about 11:30AM, and this is all of what I remembered. What. The. Fuck.